Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Snow Day #3...

Winter storms reeking havoc across the Midwest have really put a damper on any bike parts arriving in a timely fashion for the Kona Raijin build. It's killing me to have a brand new frame just sitting there, staring at me...all shiny, raw cold ti, sliders. Come on UPS - I'm counting on you!

Monday, February 25, 2013

SMP Dump...

Hit-up SMP Trails Saturday afternoon on The Fat Pearl
Only other tracks were from folks hiking and a single line from The Silent Killer riding his Fatback earlier in the day.
I shoveled two driveways, hiked the Pirate cXc race course, went sledding with the Little Pirates - then I did what I could to push four-inches of rubber through twelve-inches of snow. I got worked like a minimum wage job.  At least I got in some dreaded hike-a-bike training. Thankfully there was fire and beer for my post-ride enjoyment. Excellent day in the books. Cheers!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


It was indeed a freezing cold Pirate Ride last night. A small crew of motivated folks headed out after swilling booze to pre-ride the Pirate cXc Black Beard race course. We burned a few laps on what turned out to be a super challenging course, even for the best of riders. There are five really difficult climbs that drain your energy and momentum, a ton of single-track, a climb over soft ground dubbed the pain train, a few natural obstacles and plenty of double-track mixed in - just when you need a break (or time to pass). 
Toes and egos slowly succumbed to the twenty-ish degree temps, and after a few slow laps we headed back to the bar, where we sipped fine malty beverages and watched the news broadcasting news of a fire on the Plaza. That fire looked so inviting... especially with all the hype of a winter storm heading our way. I wonder what, if anything [that] will mean for race day (Saturday)? Probably only that we will have true winter conditions for the winter night race. And... the Fat Pearl and I will be putting in some mega snow mileage. All smiles.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pirate cXc Race Preview...

The weekly Pirate Night Ride is going to take place at Pirate cXc's next race course (Race is THIS SATURDAY) - Black Beard. We will lead whomever shows-up to ride the rogue race course, in the dark, followed by beers @ Tanners. Everyone is welcome to join this ride (if you're racing Saturday or not) however; The course is not beginner friendly - not at all. We will wait for the group, as long as everyone can ride at a moderate pace. The course is a total maze in its current state (not yet marked for the actual race), some of which is hardly burnt-in - this is an adventure ride on rogue 'trail'. The infamous Pirate obstacles will not yet be on course either, so don't get to excited for any sweet jumps or teeters... 
Lights and Helmets REQUIRED. Make sure you come ready for COLD and to repair anything that might break on your bike. We will ride for 1-2 hours. Leave your Strava and GPS devices at home, please. 
Heres the info:

When:   Tuesday, February 19th, roll-out @ 7:00 p.m. 
Where:  Meet @ Tanners - Shawnee Mission Prkwy & K-7 , just West of Price Chopper (22330 West 66th Street, Shawnee, KS 66226) 
What:     Pirate cXc - Black Beard Race Course Pre-ride, Then Beers @ Tanners

Hope to see a train of you jerks out there tonight. This might be your only chance to ride dirt before the snowpocolypse.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Hills, Forever...

I guess last weeks Street Cred hill climbing torture fest wasn't for nothing after all...
Just got word that I'll be racing THIS in August. Super Psyched! I tried this race in 2009 and blew-up my knee. I'm planning for better results - like finishing and hopefully a belt-buckle. This is the only race I've ever DNF'd, EVER... and it's been eating at me ever since.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Team Player...

My 2013 Race Machine has landed, The Ti Pearl
I can only provide you with a subtle hint as to whats going on here at the Pirates Lair, but I can tell you this - I'm as giddy as a schoolboy. 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Velo Monstre'...

I'm sick. I have a cold, or something much worse. Last nights monster bike urban death march did not make me feel better (being sick wise) but it was a helluva good time otherwise. It sure as heck isn't going to make Captain Cuntwat feel any better either, since he proceeded to crash-his-brains-out , only equal to a gruesome murder scene of sorts on the streets of downtown KC. Being sick makes me feel like not writing about how awesome our 4+ hour ride was last night - it truly was a sight to behold. A good outlandish tale of he events would surly make good of your lunch break, but I don't have it in me. Instead, check out the photos and this brief descriptive few sentences.
Speeding Jesus, PostalJeff, The Silent Killer, WhiteMike, Captain Cuntwat and I hit about every good time option during our night ride adventure - pave', singletrack, grass, wall rides, skinnies, fountains  piers, gravel, boulders, etc. We also made an impromptu appearance in the Crossroads  Mardi Gras parade. It was awesome.

What I learned during our ride:
  • Don't announce what you are going to do, just do it. Captain Cuntwat made the mistake of saying " One Handed Stairs". Just look what that got him...
  • Bring cash - beer stores are everywhere.
  • Bring extra clothes - It gets cold at night, really puggin' cold.
  • Start Earlier - Riding until midnight on a school night is a killer. I need a major nap, seriously.
  • When it IS cold, plan a 'warm food stop'. THAT would have been awesome.
Live and learn. Here's our ride in photos...

Four Fat Bikes on the Kuat NV
Speeding Jesus & The Mardi Gras Parade
The Pier = Beer Stop
Captain Cuntwat - #1 (Note 16 oz. PBR in hand)
Captain Cuntwat - #2, post one handed stair descent murder scene (Note 16 oz. PBR no longer in hand)
Captain Cuntwat - #3 "I think I broke my wrist" (laying in a pool of booze, totally got his wrist 'snapped')
Scene of the crime (the Krampus landed upside-down, still standing - impressive)
Captain Cuntwat - #4 (Successfully rode the *86 miles back to the rendezvous one handed whilst pounding booze. His middle finger seems to be unaffected)

Monday, February 11, 2013

Filthy Several...

Got to ride the Fat Pearl around the city and climb some steep-ass hills on Saturday. Nothing like throwing-up in your own mouth multiple times in a row to get your weekend started! 
Minnie St.

Faster than a speeding...
Waiting for the Train
29th to Wyandotte
Killing time

Thanks to the Phuggers over at Street Cred KC for putting on a good show. I had family commitments, so I rolled after the first four (of six) hills - Roanoke (cobbles), Mill St., Minnie St., 29th to Wyandotte. The last two are a mystery to me. 
Thanks to ClassicAdam for the bridge images, and Chasm for the others (you sexy beech). 
See you again next week for more pain-N-misery.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

You Can't Climb...

Or can you? Prove us wrong. Be HERE Saturday. Get an a$$ whooping, have some fun, ride bikes..
And to continue the publishing of stolen images, here's one of The Manimal, Your current Street Cred leader. Here he is, doing what he does best - wearing clothes stolen from young boys while trying to one-up Mr. Volker (background) with the classic double-fist technique.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Beauty and the Beast...

Made the pages of FAT-BIKE.com again recently with some notes about the Fat Pearl and her build. For those of you who are curious about all things FAT, check them out HERE. Great material and they update often enough that I'm sure to get fired from my job for perusing the site so damn often, but so it goes.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Weekend Sauce...

My Job is stressing me out. Jobs are nothing but work, even if all you do day-in and day-out is draw pretty pictures of things men build. I have two projects due on Wednesday. I hate Wednesday, if for no other reason than the aforementioned slow and drawn-out mental torture. 
Thank baby Jesus the weather was good enough for me to get and and do some swamp recon for the next Pirate cXc race. Speaking of Pirates and racing, have you thrown-up in your mouth this week?  If not, I recommend you read THIS.
Not only did I get to ride my bike, but I got to clean it - thoroughly. Deer trail in mushy lowland fields = 40 lb fat bike wheels. Theres nothing pretty about that.
A few photos from the weekend...

Selfishly, the best part of my cycling weekend was getting my hands on some new bars; a set I've been drooling over ever since I knew of their existence in the multiverse (Thanks to White Mike - Love ya bro :). A few extra bends in Ti made by the fellas at Black Sheep Bikes out of Fort Collins, CO. These super-sweeps are going to be the key to elbow comfort and pure awesomeness. That and they match my fork, which is of utmost importance in the scheme of things. I mean, that's why I shave my thighs and wear polka dot lycra . 
It's all about her looks, and how she rides.


A photo I stole of the Pirate - taken by Zeke - during THE epic failure at KC Sprints
Two words, one dark truth...