Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Ejaculator...

The P-ride crew, for varied lame reasons, all but deserted the ship last night. There would be no P-ride. This was a good thing for me as I wanted to visit a friend I had not seen in months who lives in the Great White North. Being up North would also put me within range of the Humpday Ride at the Smithville Lake trails, which are about as fun to ride as jello wrestling with swimsuit models - or not. Usually the SMV Humpday ride hosts the largest showing at a group trail ride in the metro area. They have a reputation for riding and then drinking beer and socializing around a warm fire. How could this not be what the doctor ordered, seriously?

I rolled way the hell up to BFE to ride with the SMV jorks, a solid hour drive from the lair. It seems the cool weather turned 95% of the locals balls into shriveled prunes, leaving the group ride to only a small crew who wore their big girl pants and were psyched to ride. Dr. Dover, Double D, Richard and I did a hot lap of all the goods. I had not ridden these trails in months, and had forgotten how fast and fun they truly are. Dirt was in primo shape for rolling fast. The crew was moving at a solid pace, taking few if any stops, chatting it up along the way; super-fun guys. 

Since our post ride relaxation around the fire whilst drinking fine malt bevy's was more of an event than the actual riding, I'll move on to the details of said soiree'. We arrived back at the Smokin' Davey Trailhead to find a handful of fellow riders and a warm fire. These Northlanders are just like I remember; super nice and funny with zero attitude. Living out South, I'm surrounded by a bunch of egotistical assholes who can't seem to remember what riding bikes is all about, but would rather talk shit and stay in their little cliques than socialize and just enjoy the awesomeness that is riding dirt with other folks who share the love.

We had a great time telling fishing stories, laughing at others mishaps and using Farmy's magical beer bottle cap ejaculator - a true gem and must have for all that indulge in the finer things in life. There was just a good feeling, a great vibe riding and hanging with this group. They have a good thing going, and I'll be back for more.

Thanks to the crew, for the tour and for allowing me to share the case of beer that fell out of my truck and into your greasy mitts. Until next time, Cheers & Beers!

4 comments:

Chasm said...

you know, for a dirt hippie, you sure do talk a lot of shit.

Roy Schauwecker said...

You forgot to mention the hand knitted beer sweaters and the home made cookies.

Burnsey said...

Holy Crap! I did forget to mention those beer sweaters! I'm going to need to order a few dozen of those as awards for the Pirate cXc Winter Night Races. The best thing since the snuggie!

Burnsey said...

I'll bunny-hop your face, backwards with no hands - whatchout!