Friday, September 6, 2013


last nights Pirate ride at Clinton Lake was one for the history books indeed. The crew, consisting of Beej, The Manimal, Cuntwat, El Blanco Miguel, The Silent Killer and Jack Sparrow packed into one truck - to which we've now dubbed the Clown Car. We rolled the 30 minute drive to our destination, which to those not-in-the-know happens to be one of the most brutally technical and sustained trails in the KC Metro area - climbing out the wazoo, rocks all over the place; trickery. This was a night where we knew we'd be getting our a$$ handed to us on a silver platter, and we went into it ready for blood.
There were amazingly enough, very few crashes OR blood. We had no major mechanical issues and our lights stayed illuminated for the entire three plus hours we rode. It was so phuggin' humid that we'd have made the cover of GQ's "hardest men of the year wet t-shirt contest". Not only did we have a great time plowing through the wilderness at night, but the aftermath of seed ticks was a sight to behold. We each had at minimum *3,489 of the blood-sucking-sons-of-bitches latched onto our ankles. We made quite a show trying to get our infested appendages cleared of said insects. 
I'm sore, beat up and itchy. Riding a rigid single speed at Clinton is comparable only to masturbating with sandpaper (The Silent Killer must do this regularly). No suspension = you're either plain dumb or just don't give a phug. I'll claim the later. Cheers!

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