Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Crash Master Flash...

Four days on the bike in a row; four on the new Specialized Tricross that I purchased over the weekend as my commuter and one on the Death Machine (fixed gear MTB). Feels GREAT to be getting in so much time with the wind on my face. It’s just good overall to be back on the bike after 8 weeks of bullshit with the knee (though I do go in for an MRI this week).
So backtracking to Sunday: New Bike and 40 miles of ‘wide single track’ as The Godfather calls ‘road’. I’m not so much interested in road riding – kinda sucks in my opinion; the sensory overload, people, traffic, the concrete. I much prefer dirt; to be in the woods enjoying getting away from it all. This whole commuting thing is good for the wallet and the body – but not for the mind. Now I understand why roadies are such closed minded jerks. I’d be wound-up tight enough to turn coal to diamonds if all I did was dodge traffic. What a shitty way to short-change your life.
Yeah, commuting… I’ll keep it up. It might help my tan.
Moving onto the goods – The Weekly Pirate Ride. Yes, it rained. Trails were a mud fest. MaxiThad showed face so it was game on. We spun our SS brains off in dire conditions on rogue trail. I felt for a time that I was somehow riding my bike in the bottom of a port-a-potty recently visited by a Clydesdale horse. Spinning, sliding and realizing all too quickly that ‘things really suck ass right now’. We evacuated the dirt and gained some nice grass and gravel action to at least get in some mileage.
The way I like rides to go down can be summed up to the following: Fun, Blood, Pain, Fun, Beer, Scary, Beer, Fun and Dirt. We pretty much had all that, minus the dirt part. I also pulled the Jack-ass-of-the-year-crash during our gravel romp. Have you ever drug a foot on your front or rear tire to knock off the accumulated mud? I sure the heck have, and during the P-ride I did it in lame fashion. Riding along I stuck foot to front tire. Being fixed, my crank rotates around and into my heel which proceeds to push my foot right into the spokes. I instantly stop vertically in a nose wheelie, somehow remove my foot from the wheel as I crash OTB into the gravel below as MaxiThad watches the action (probably laughing his ass off internally). What a flippin’ stupid thing to do. I don’t recommend this. Don’t do it. I blew one spoke and had a wobbly wheel for the remainder of our *126 mile ride. Plus my ego was hurt and at an all time low.
Yeah, well, The ride itself pretty much sucked, but it was good to hang with a friend and talk shit on at least one of the local bike shops while moving through the woods. We ended our ride with MaxiThad near-missing a copperhead on the trail, a quick ride up the Lawrence hill and then of course; booze and fire. Good Times! Thanks for coming out to ride Mr. Absorbent. Hope to see you (and the rest of you mutts) next Tuesday night.

* Mileage may or may not be totally accurate.


Chasm said...

sorry that you're scared of a few cars, hippie. maybe we can harden your lady gooch up by hitting some parking garages up soon. bring the skinnies!

Burnsey said...

You and those damn parking garages! last time I went into a parking garage with your Hipster pals I was verbaly assaulted by the crazy garage attendants and nearly run down...but I'll probably come to one of your gay-ass rides just to show you gentelman who's committed to the core. but then again I might have something come water ballet or syncronized fencing.