Plastic Fantastic...

If only you could see me now...doing my happy dance. 2012 is the year to try out Carbon. It took me way to long to realize how bad ass riding a 29er can be. I'm not going to sit around and let the plastic bike experience pass me by. I told myself that if I bought a new bike for 2012 that I'd actually start 'training'. How sweet would it be to have the Ethos Posse bring in the single speed 1-2-3 at every local XC and Endurance event for 2012. I have a feeling that The Bald Chimp and The Manimal wont mind if I join them...Now if I can only fulfil my commitment. Damn I hate really training; for real, the whole deal. Somebody hit me over the head with a 2x and wake me from this nightmarish reality.

Burnsey's P.O.V...

I'm not sure why Santa did not bring me a $2,600 Carbon Mountain Bike Frame for Xmas. Seems like the logical thing to do to me. Rather, I was surprised with this little piece of gadgetry, the Countour Roam HD Helmet/POV Video Camera. I guess you're going to see more than just lame photos of my Pirate Adventures from here on out. I feel a winter night ride looming in the very near future. I wonder how well these suckers record in low light. My homework for this week is to find [that] out and report back here asap. Until then, I hope you can find some frozen trail to ride...the warm temps here in Misery are not allowing for much in the way of dry trail. What happened to all the snow this Winter?

Pirate cXc - Race No.1...

I double-dare you... make that tripple.

Dear Santa...

Carbon?

Steel?

It's a tough call. I'd love to go Carbon for my 2012 Race Machine. It seems to work for The Bald Chimp anyway... Here's what [he] had to say...

"Well……….I can let you test ride both if you want, although the SIR is set up monster right now, we are both the same size (from the waist up so fit should be close).  Here are my thoughts and I’m like you an old steelie fan.  I love the SIR, everyone should have one, it’s a great workhorse and the ride is brilliant.  Not all steel is equal, a good nimble well designed 853 frame will ride circles around most (heavy) lower rent 4130 frames. I can’t stand the ride of a Karate Monkey for example.  That said it took me nearly all year to warm up to the AIR and it really only came together for me at BT and its awesome. So light and sick fast, I think I wasn’t confident  on it and now I get it.  Now I want it to weigh sub 17 lbs so it is my quest to race rigid in 012 to shuck some weight. So what am I telling you? You need one of each."

I think one of each would be my first choice fo sure, great idea...but my kids need to eat. In reality, it would cost me more than double to go carbon. I'm wondering if it's really worth it. I do crash a lot, but I still have a few steel bikes around for crashing. 

 Heck, maybe I don't need a new bike, but please Santa...I've been a really good boy.

Ride In Peace...

Timbo hooked me up with his Niner R.I.P. 9 frame to test drive. I've been wanting to try out a full suspension frame built-up single speed. Why you might ask? This does go firmly against the whole baisis of keeping it simple, but...

I want to go faster through rock gardens. I want to go off bigger drops. I want to sit on my saddle and hit bumps when I'm tired and not feel violated. I want to mix-it-up with some freeride/all mountain/XC style riding.

Soon I'll gather a few of the parts I'm missing to get this baby built. Then it's go time, full-on MONSTER TRUCK ACTION, ACTION, ACTION!!!

In Between The Lines...

No doubt, Old Man Winter has arrived. Along with [him] the dreaded freeze/thaw cycle has begun - at every single trail within an hours drive of KC.  
My experience at Swope just a few nights ago was great, the trail was as dry as a bone. We've had zero precipitation since, but now that temps are fluctuating below and above (but near) freezing, any daylight riding must be done first thing in the morning or you're getting muddy. I don't always have the fortune to choose my riding times, so I go when I can. Today that lead me on an quest to avoid pavement AND mud; a challenge indeed,

I had a few errands to run, so I loaded up my bike and gear and headed off to scout some potential trail. As luck had it, I found just that; a 2-3 mile loop of featured rogue trail that gave me just what I needed. There was single track, double track, logs, rocks, burmed corners, bumps, jumps, and great views. I envisioned a race here - with a few dozen fun loving, adventure bound, out-of-the-box thinking pals. All for fun of course, and for the shenanigans. Hmmm... I think it's gonna happen,,,

Up All Nitro...

A good night always seems to end with good friends and good beer. The Up All Nitro Porter at 75th Street Brewery hit the spot after 2 hours of riding sweet single track in prime winter conditions at Swope. The P-ride was, in a sense, resurrected at a new local and with the few who were animal enough to rally.

Pyro, The Manimal, sCotter and yours truly mashed an out-n-back style assault on all that is bad-ass at Swope. I of course was sucking wind, which is far better than sucking ass; either way it was a hard ride but I'm trying to make a come back after the Thanksgiving debauchery. That meal sent me into a black hole of fatty, good for nothing food addiction; do I really need peppermint Oreos?

It's good to be riding again and get a little prodding from some fellas who don't enjoy lolly-gagging. Screw this freezing-ass cold weather...lets ride!

The Dirty Deed...

The deed is done, my karma debt repaid and pride swallowed. I made a promise during a 'pay it forward' barter that I'd do a CX race this year, and today was that day. I had asked for feedback on which local race to do, and all fingers pointed towards Missouri State CX Championships (Boss Cross) at Raytown BMX. The course would be a mix of typical grass CX junk and some sweet pumpish style BMX course. Well, as it goes mother nature decided to rain on the parade and the BMX section of the course was no longer included. The grass course was a muddy mess as is standard for CX, with two barriers, an up climb to a pseudo log step-over and a mess of wet and concrete type mud. Temps were in the upper thirties as a guess and other than NOT having any type of gay-ass skinny tire bike, I thought I was ready to race. You know me though; no training other than fun rides with friends. Lately I've been traveling a ton and eating like crap, so it was hard to even see my shoelaces due to my increasing Buddha. But so it goes and I was here to have fun, and fun was had.               

For months I've asked why the skinny tires? No one could give me a straight answer, but today I realized that the reason might be frame clearance as it relates to mud build-up. I am in no way interested in skinny tires, so I had to suck-it-up, and suck I did.
My weapon of choice, though I was told it was illegal, was my 26" Fixed gear Mountain Bike. I knew there was mud, and control in mud with a fixie is like none other. I thought I'd be solid, and I was - my control was good. I thought I'd be strong and able to sprint for 40 minutes.. Wrong-o! I had so much concrete mud built-up on my wheels and loaded into my frame that making forward progress was like trying to get a Catholic Priest interested in vagina. I was in dire straights and in the first 30 seconds of the race I dropped to DFL (and stayed there for the entire deal).

 I can't say that I enjoyed it at all. The only fun part of CX is the spectators mocking and prodding the racers. This I did enjoy and as the crowd yelled 'faster' as we'd approach a downhill mud slide into a tight turn, it would get us psyched to rally. Each lap you could tell the roadies from the mountain bikers as [they] ate-mega-shit in the soupy mess at that corner, all whilst being heckled and demoralized by onlookers. Now that's racing!

I was slightly upset, make that very disappointed, at the non-beer hand-ups and non-beer drinking going on. Does shaving your legs also make your balls crawl-up, reverse turtle-head? For fuck sake - a fella gets thirsty out there!

I'm also curious why you see some of the most retarded-expensive bikes out on the CX course just getting trashed with mud? Seriously? Is this how you strut your wealth or do you just like banging your head against a wall? I don't get it. Why not masturbate with sand?

All in all I am glad that The Manimal talked me into racing, that I went for it and that I got my very first DFL in the books. Now that it's over with I'm going to settle into a cold and hoppy beverage as I dream about technical single track, dry tread, fat tires and sunshine.

Peat Awesome, one helluva guy who knows what riding bikes IS all about!

EDIT (a day later): All of my excitement of getting my first DFL (Dead Fucking Last) has since faded. Official results are posted. I succeeded in my typical race goal; Finish, Not Last (and top ten is always nice too). So there you have it. I'm thinking that someday, if I can work towards a superior level of fitness, I might have to try a CX race again. Of course that means a skinny tire bike, some kind of gay costume and pre-arranged beer hand-ups/mega-hecklers! I suppose it could be fun...
I should also mention that K-Rocket, Squara, Pyro, Stev-o and The Manimal All took podium spots during the event. Seems I'm the lone snail riding CX for Ethos these days, but when your good looking you don't need to be fast. JDoug was out too, racing two back-to-back events with style. I'm sure he missed the non-hand-ups as much as I did.

Jet Lag...

Between the Thanksgiving Holiday and a work trip to L.A., I've been off the bike for way too long. I might be dying. I need to ride soon while the weather is good and before I turn into a fat blimp from all the airport food. I think I might be as fat as Santa by now with all of the crap I've put in my belly. I feel horrible. Please save me.

I did take a few minutes to hit the beach and get some fresh air...if that's what they call the air in L.A., fresh. I think it's about as fresh as the beach is clean. Here is an image that defines the my feelings of the place very well. Like a sad story...

Please get me home soon. Please let me go ride my bike on some sick KC single track. I miss you...and my riding bros too. We've got to get the P-ride back on schedule!