Fear is an Illusion...

Who did you want to be when you grew-up? Remember?

Danny Boy remembers...

The Dope on Swope - Spoke Pony 3/6...

The much awaited, feared, loathed and loved endurance event 'Spoke Pony Showdown 3/6' did in fact go down as scheduled at the bad-to-the-bone trail system simply dubbed 'Swope'. Friday the trails were blasted with multiple thunderstorms, yet the course was ready to go race time Saturday morning. Those who dared to test his physical and mental strength showed face to rally and experience a sick course. The Trail Hermits spare no expense putting on the show, and they'd staged the trail with points of entertainment to keep you smiling from ear to ear throughout the entire event.

Dead Hooker and The one and only Trail Asshole

My plan was to show up, chill with my pals and ride bikes for six hours. I really enjoy being in the forest, albeit in the heart of a large city and still feel like your miles away. This trail system is indeed a gift to KC, and a favorite of mine for sure. I can't say that a bad time could be had, unless you just let a mechanical or a run of bad luck eat at you. I was in it for a good time, nothing more, and damned if anything was gonna change that.

All the usual Ethos suspects were there, you know the ones. The Manimal and I were going to battle it out in the 6hr Single Speed Open. Travis and Garet leading the fast train, Kevin rallying his usual carefree race ethic, JDoug pushing his technical comfort level on the slick rocks and Sarah throwing down in her usual bad ass style. We also met up with a few pals; Peat Awesome was there. Good ol' Peat will keep you smiling with his daredevil skills and topping off his typical shenanigans - he raced some real p.o.s. bike from the 90's that most folks would use as a boat anchor. As they say and as was proved ...it's not the bike, it's the person on it. We also met up with a few of the Team Seagal Jerk's, who were so kind as to give the one finger salute each lap and provide some tasty PBR's for post race rehydration. These fellas are all stand-up guys who seem to be on the same page as the Pirate - Just out for a furry good time!

Thugs

The mass start lined up for a climb to separate the 'contenders from the pretenders'. I rolled into the single track in a good spot and did not really have to wait in any kind of heinous train of slow jackass riders like times past. I enjoyed watching crash after crash on the slick rocks and bike shifting tree roots. The dirt was great but the rocks...deadly.

My legs were feeling bombproof, my style and grace impeccable, my body temp however was rising and I was feeling like a prom queen the morning after; worn down and just plain confused about why my body felt weird. Each lap I'd stop a little longer at the pit area to run cold water over my core, rest and get my head on straight. I killed major time but as usual had toat the very least finish the race. At this point that was my goal and I was no longer worried about the time.

The course was, simply put, awesome. THE best course I've been on, ever. If you missed this race, you are going to die wondering. Heartland always kicks it up a notch and this was no exception.

After rolling into the gate with time for a last lap, I decided to accept a beer hand up from Shoffner and call it a day. I knew I had 3rd in the bag and saved my juice to ride another day.

A couple notes: there were two forms of good luck for my race. 1) My number plate was significant.  2) As I was prepping to race a sweet Vdub bus pulled up and made me smile. I knew it would be a good day! To top it all off my Wife and two boys showed-up to see me standing on the podium which really made for a perfect day.

The Seagal Salute

Ethos finished up pretty well, with the following podiums;

Burnsey 3rd 6 hr SS

Manimal 1st 6hr SS

Sarah 1st

Jason 5th

Travis 1st

Special Thanks to the volunteers and the Trail Hermits for putting on an amazing event! Mad Props to the Manimal for pushing himself hard and cranking out 8 laps on one gear...your a bad ass! Travis killed it with 9 laps, unheard of on trails this sick. Congrats fellas!

SS Podium

A Good Spin...

It's been hot as hell here in the Midwest for most of the summer; blistering death! Riding bikes around here as of late could be easily compares to riding in a wind tunnel turned up to hairdryer temps and just cooking your innards along the way. Last night The Manimal and I kicked back up the Thursday Night Ride.

It's that time of year - Spiders (this one the size of a golf ball) are out in full force, their webs spanning the trail seemingly always at face height. 

This is the same old ride we do all winter but we spice it up and change the course each time out. Last night was no different. We headed out from Pirate headquarters at the stroke of 9ish. The wind was feeling cool and we were psyched to lubricate our legs in preparation for the Spoke Pony Showdown 6 hours of torture we are to endure on Saturday at Swope.

We set a casual pace, one that might make you think we had whiskey in our water bottles, yet moving good enough to elude the mysterious mountain lion (our imaginary friend that summons the fear and adrenaline required to really sprint when needed). We hit some sweet rogue trail, and every time we ride this particular stretch we think 'man, I love this trail'. We hit some overgrown deer trail that had a bunch of fallen trees that we nimbly maneuver over like cats. We hit some gravel double track for just long enough to prep for the steep ass climb that neither of us successfully rode. We hit-up miles of dusty single track; mostly flowing but often broken-up by a rock garden or improbable switchback. We rally back to the pirates lair and push hard up the Lawrence hill - always a nice yet feared end to a great ride.

To beat the heat, Thursday Night Rides are officially back in season. As the snow comes we will be switching over to fixed-gear mountain bikes and following rides with hot tubbin' and campfire action, and of course a few Barley Pops tossed in for good measure.

Par-T-time...

Riding bikes to me is all about fun. If it's not fun than I'm not gonna do it, nope. I just picked up this little Specialised Fuse and am dubbing her 'coffee', as I will be hitting the bike park on my to work in the mornings to relive the fun I had as a kid; jumping and crashing my brains out till I puke or just am awake. That should set me straight for the rest of the day, every day. Yeehaw!

six @ swope...

Course Map

Spoke Pony Showdown 3/6 - Big time endurance mountain bike race this weekend here in Kansas City. The temps have dropped and it's time to take a ride on the pain train. Opt for three or six hours of single track bliss, full of all that you can (or can't) handle. Swope is the king of kings around here; dialed trail that works you like a minimum wage job. Don't even bother coming out to race without a few extra tampons in your jersey pockets you roadie jerks, this is the real deal. I'll be there for the long haul, loving every grueling minute. You better be there too; unless you're a tool. See you Saturday for dirt loving good times.

Fourteen Hours West...

Say it with me...ROAD TRIP!

Full report coming very soon...

Tell-u-RIDE...

Good times in Telluride last week. As sson as I get through playing catch-up with city life, I'll write something about it. Until then, close your eyes and pretend you just rode fiftteen miles in the rockies and had a helluva great time.

Mayhem Inferno...

Can’t stand the heat, Get out and stop bitchen. Shawnee Mission Mayhem happened. The course was sweet and the temps were off the chart.

My morning started out with packing up the Burley trailer with a cooler full of ice cold water, beer and my riding gear. I live about a mile from the race venue so I thought it only appropriate to ride as opposed to drive. The real kicker to this idea however is the Ogg Road hill coming up from Midland. This is one bad-a$$ hill; the kind that separates the Men from the Manimals. It’s a long climb that gets steeper as you go, and at just when you think it’s over you turn a bend only to see it steepen for another 100 yards. If you want to get strong, do hill intervals here. If you want to blow-up, ride your single speed pulling a trailer full of beer and water.

I arrived with enough time to get suited up and give Beej a high five for completing his first mountain bike race (which had just finished moments earlier). It's funny how ‘off the couch Beej’ can do these things, especially after only riding his ‘90s model single-speed-converted Kona only once on trails this year, which was to pre-ride the race course with yours truly the day before. Nice work buddy!

Now it’s go time. I lined up with the posse and off we went. Down a gravel double track for ¼ mile in the blistering sun and then we’d drop into the single track. Before the race I had figured I’d be the last guy into the woods. I am still running a retard easy gear from my last trip to Colorado, though I tried to get my freewheel changed before the race, but failed to get it to budge. Spinning my brains out on the gravel was not going to be worth it and I knew I could make up the time on the technical sections of the trail. I did indeed succeed in being the last guy into the woods but began my subtle attack and had passed 8 riders by the time we hit the 4-way mid lap. My boy the trail asshole would be proud to know that one pass occurred when I hopped a large fallen tree as the other rider went around, and two riders I passed at each of the (2) hard left switchbacks while they could not make the turn w/o dabbing. Towards the end of lap one you bust out onto the power line cut and into the heat surrounded by 4’ tall grass; it was like riding into a hair dryer. Just plain nasty and sucked the life right out of you for the final ¼ mile to the start/finish. As I started lap 2 my man Beej did a perfect bottle hand-up and I was rolling once again on the gravel double track. Here I used the easy riding to toss down some fuel and water. I was also passed by two guys on single speeds who were geared spot-on, not like me spinning my nuts off. This of course lead to the chase and me eventually passing these guys on the technical terrain once again. Moving well and solid, I kept a solid pace and was psyched that my final lap was almost over. Just before popping out once again into the power line cut and heat, Beej and little Will blasted me with a shot of heat-slaying water which revived my drive to finish strong. As I pushed up the final hill some fella on a geared bike decided that he needed to pass me for some reason. Whatever I thought; I’m not racing you anyway. I then decided to go ahead and give it to him since he wanted it, and I pushed hard and made the fella about have a coronary getting across the line as we sprinted the last 100 yards.

Special thanks to Mark for his DNF. Without you buddy, I’d have gotten 4th. Your 3rd at the Farmhouse Classic 100 the day before was a lame excuse…Pappy was out racing and finished and he’s like 6 times your age. The Ethos crew killed it as usual with 7 podiums. Awesome work fellas!

All in all a good time on my home turf. Had I been geared right I’d have had a better finish time, but probably not a better place. I’m just not fast, but I do like to ride bikes.

Blazing Saddles...

Had a killer ride on Sunday (as you loyal fans now knowingly observe as Dirt Church) with my Cousin Brad at Swope. It was blazing hot but we had a killer time riding all that is Swope. Phase 4 is a great addition with some drops, bumps and flowing single track. We were the first car in the lot and when we left there were 20. Swope IS a big deal. Get there, ride and enjoy.

Sunday it's going to be over 100 degrees. I suggest you all get your fat asses over to Shawnee Mission Park for the Sunday afternoon weight-loss program, also known as Shawnee Mission Mayhem. I know I'll be there, because I tend to do battle best in the dire pit of hell, and this race and the forcasted weather might just serve it up good. Hope to see you there!

Here's the course...looks prime!

Mountains of Fun...

Dave and Burnsey enjoying a hike at the Shambala Mountain Center

4th of July weekend was nothing but good times for my wife and I. We headed out to Colorado for a few days to visit our pal Dave, who is recovering from surgery - as well as visiting a handful of other friends we enjoy the company of. I'm not going to elaborate since I did not do any riding while we were there, but I did manage to drink more than my share of beer, climb some Granite in RMNP and do some good hikes. Someday I will live in the mountains.